no more blogs about him...

To try to forget him the only thing I think I can do is stop writing about him. Ok...today is the last day! One of my friend told me that she broke up today and she msn me to talk about her love life. She just started with the guy for about one month and then they broke up. She looks so sad and always ask me questions that I was asking myself the past few days. Frankly speaking I got kind of upset when she look for me today. Since last time we had conflict on Daniel and Red Cross she never call me or sms me or msn me before and now when she msn me, she needs someone to share her problems. I understand that when someone is in this stage they really need people to talk with them but my problems are unsolved yet and I really couldn't help her for that matter. After all she only dated with that guy for one month, she will never understand the pain I am having now to forget that 3 years relationship. I was crying when I attend lecture today. No one saw it luckily as I was sitting behind there.

After class my friends accompany me to bazaar and I saw some Valentines Day present on sale. I really felt like buying it for my friends because I think for the past few years I was too focused on him that I sometimes really neglect them. I even felt like sending Valentines Day card to those who are in Ipoh. Like what someone told me that day that after this incident I will learn a lot of lesson. Well, I guess the first lesson that I learnt is that I should treasure those around me. I used to be a person who care but when I was with him I care only about him. Being with him for that 3 years really makes me changed a lot. He doesn't like listening to music but I like. I changed myself to suit him and I seldom listen to songs anymore but just sitting with him in my house playing PS2 everyday. I like learning new things but he doesn't. He likes life to be simple and I don't. He doesn't like to plan but I can't live without planning and the list goes on. I actually tried to adapt to his life before I split with him. I changed myself for him and I really did.

At first when we were together, I often said that I don't like last minute plan and those things that I had written above. As time past by I got so used to his life and often follow his pattern of life. In fact, I often rush here and there for him just to suit his last minute outing. Sometimes being with him really change the way I am. I want to lead my own life again. I think if I ever had a chance to have another guy in my life, I would not change the way I am because the more I give the more I hurt. I told myself today that I must put a full stop to everything. Everything has ended and I must live happily.