9th Day...friends I need you,all of you...

The worst day was actually not yesterday, it was today and I don't know whether it will get worse or not. I went to lecture like usual today but my heart really is not there. I was sitting there thinking of the words that he told me for the past few times when we were about to split. He told me that he loves me and asked me to wait for him after he finish his uni. Then i regret. I always asked myself, if I were to say that I will wait for him then would it cause so much pain now? The more one knows the more painful it will be. I rather be stupid all the time and let him lie to me sometimes than to know all these already. Like I tell Ui Cheng, when anger is gone, love comes in. I did not got angry over him already these 2days. I just felt like calling him again, asking him whether he can be together with me again. This might sound so wrong because I know I shouldn't do this anymore but I just don't know I can stand until when. Today is chap goh mei and there is a chinese saying that 人月两团员 when there is a full moon. But why am I alone? Yu Hang brought me to the Kuan Yin Temple this afternoon, I didn't actually pray. I remembered that when I was with him he loves to pray in the Kuan Yin Temple, hence deep inside my heart I asked, "Why people pray?". If praying does help then why can't we be together again? I know perhaps it sounds wrong but that is really what I am thinking. Well, at last I prayed too, my wish is that "Hope I will be happy again!". That's how I used up my day today...I miss him