不能说的秘密

“心里面有一个不能说的秘密
就像是背了一个包袱，觉得很难受
但如果说了出来
可能会令一个你很想保护得人受到伤害
自己辛苦还是要别人受伤害？
真的左右为难”

苦瓜

现在的情况就像苦瓜一样。
明明知道是苦的还是想吃。
一直希望有一天它不会变甜。

Shellfish:p

Since young, my mum taught me not to be selfish and think of other when making decision.
But as I grew up, she told me that I should follow my heart to choose a career and everything else in life.
So what exactly should I do?

越吻越伤心

This song came across my mind today.
Just hope to share with u guys:p

問你哪個配搭穿起使我最配襯　但你冷冷兩眼似看著無聊閒人
問你哪一齣好戲最近會令人提提神　但換來連場沉默如像跟我嬉笑不再吸引

問你我喝醉了可不可對我吻吻　但你碰碰嘴角動作像撩撩途人
問你會否因工作太累兩目完全無神　而你似強制內心的抖震

＊越吻越傷心　明明無餘地再過問　明明知道衷心一吻　會有更親厚質感
　越吻越傷心　仍然糊塗是我過份　明明知道彼此不再情深　何必追問遠近

問你距我太遠可不可以坐更近　但你似聽見了某個極無聊奇聞

問你有否想起你我是哪樣成為情人　但換來連場沉默如像早覺得我不再吸引

問你那晚見我怎麼濕透了髮鬢　但你似覺得我問錯問題如傻人
問到你跟他相處背後那段纏綿傳聞　而你卻竊笑像偷偷興奮

Repeat ＊

越吻越傷心　明明無餘地再過問　明明知道衷心一吻　會有更親厚質感
越吻越傷心　仍然糊塗是我過份　明明知道彼此不再情深　無謂再三迫近



Listening to my list of old songs recently...
Old songs reminds me of old memories:)

Do not put all the eggs in a basket

....and I put all the eggs in a basket like last time...
when the basket falls the eggs cracked...
all...all of them...

Life after exchange...

Life after exchange is painful.
I m not used to the teaching system in NUS again.
Not used to project discussion.
Not used to having social loafers in my group.
Not used to having different group mates.
Not used to people around me talking about things that I don't know.

And finally, I am not used to people who thinks that they are not important in my heart when in fact they do.

好听

几好听的话都只不过是好听而已。。。

Money money money

Just attended my friend's convocation in Penang last week.
Well, came to know that money is not everything but is something important in life.
There are people who cares more about money than relationship and friendship.
In their heart money can substitute connection with friends.
For me, I didn't want money to be part of the problem in my life.
I still think that if a problem can be settled by money is not a problem at all.
Well, many people still put money as their priority in life.
Got a bit frustrated but have to accept it and go on with life.

Before this, I thought this is the reality and no one friend in this world would put friendship before those miserable pieces of notes.
Thanks to those who prove me wrong.
I could feel your love to me.
Jar, Chee Mei, Shan, Chuang Ning, Dennis, Ying Qian, Sarah and all the other fellows in Sg.
Haha.. I never regret studying in Sg for I really met the sincerest people in life.
I felt that this is the wisest choice that I had made in my life.
Thanks to all of you who makes me realize that true friendship really came from the bottom of the heart.
I shall treasure my last year in NUS.

猫和鱼

原来天下既猫都喜欢吃鱼。
最近又再次听到身边既朋友被男朋友伤害。
原因都系一样。
见到另一条新鱼而对熟既鱼无兴趣，吃吾落。
听到都觉得伤心。

觉得永远都吾可以去相信D猫。

睇黎我都系注定养狗:p

等待

真的很讨厌等待。
每次都是我在等。
不知道什么时候才会有人等我。。。

妈妈与我。。。

What makes a filial daughter, I wonder.

One year later, I will graduate from school and start to work.
Talking about working after school makes me frustrated at times.
I just do not know what to choose.
Of course I have something in mind; not the best but will make me happy.
However, somehow there are always contradictions between my own happiness and my family.

Photography had been a large part of my life.
If I could choose, I will sure choose this as my career.
But because of family restrictions and the so called "practicality", I end up with choices like QS, PM or FM.

The contradictions that I have is complicating my life now.
People said that we must choose a career that we enjoy doing.
I wish I could but I am not the only one in this world.
Family especially will influence my choice.

Well, I have to say what my parents want and what I want is different.
I do not even have a choice as I cannot afford to break their heart.
In the end, I could only break my own heart and go on with life.

Will she ever understand me again?

The single story..

Went to Orchard to shop yesterday with Jaree mee and sis.
This is the first weekend I escaped from Bugis ever since I came back from Hong Kong.

Found a very nice shirt.
When I decided to buy the t-shirt, we noticed that it's a couple's tshirt.
So damn sad..everything that is nice in this world is related to couple.
Singles couldn't possess those nice and cute things without their other half.

I was wondering...
Do things look nicer in pairs?

主题的问题

才发觉到原来最近写的东西都是emotional的，一点都配合不到blog的主题。

不可以继续这样。
接下来一定要写很多开心的事。

好像在哪里听过。。。

才发现到原来自己之前讲过的话也对别人有一样的效果。。。

是时候要改改自己说话的方式了！

珊对不起。。。

还没习惯。。。

明天是端午节。
想到以前在家妈妈肯定买粽子给我吃。
虽然她没有自己做，可是每年的端午节可以一家人一起吃粽子的确是不错。
来到新加坡那么久不要说吃，连碰到卖粽子的店都很少。
原因是每年端午节的时候，我不是上课就是做工，完全没有时间出去买。
今天也一样，下班的时候去找也找不到。

走到一半的时候竟然看到koi珍珠奶茶。
看到奶茶就会想到香港。
听朋友说这间店的奶茶是最好喝的。
结果味道还是不能用来跟香港奶茶比。
走电梯的时候依然靠右边。

原来过了两个星期我还没习惯。
就像端午节一样离了家那么久还是不习惯一个人过端午节。

Current Issues

The gloomy weather these few days did affect my emotions too.
I don't know whether it is right to blame the weather but I felt rather unhappy.
I couldn't imagine that at this stage of life things can go so complicated.

I started to worry about my future career.
What would I be?
QS???Millionaire??:p
People always look for opportunity in life.
When you chase your dreams, your dreams will come true.
But if chasing my own dreams is will make my life difficult, then should I opt for a simpler life instead?
What if I die tomorrow?
Will I regret of what I do today?

Human relations is also another topic of my current life.
Humans can really be very complicated.
Not everyone could express what they want to say.
I clearly understand this.
But when you are really close to someone, don't you feel like knowing more about them?
I don't know how other people feel, but yes I do.
The important point is..I don't want to know for the sake of knowing.
It's something that can reach other peoples heart deeply, sharing their emotions and thoughts.
And when weird things happen like yesterday, I finally gave up reaching her heart.
.....
....
..
I don't know what to say but I just rather not know anything about her thoughts on human relations.
I guess I have to take another HR module to understand more.
I was just thinking, all things are fated.
If I could meet her earlier, maybe things could be better.
Disappointment won't set in her heart and she won't feel what she is feeling right now.

Anyway, I am still telling myself life is short.
Treasure every moment and live life to the fullest.
I hope everyone around me did that too.

Good night everyone:)

青青河边草

I walked to work today like every other day for the past 4 days.
Just realize that the skies in Singapore is exactly as blue as those in Korea and Beijing or even nicer.
I was wondering how come I didn't realize it before I went exchange.
Obviously the grass is always greener on the other side is a very good saying.
And yes, I think people should treasure what they had.

With positive mind, I felt happier working in KPK.
Though the workload is quite heavy, I enjoy the work.
I tell myself that I had to treasure the blue skies and green grass that I have now.

And I m going to work tomorrow also (Saturday) cos I couldn't finish my work.
Sorry Jaree...I wanted to celebrate with you but cannot.
And I sincerely wish my Jaree Happy Birthday in advance:)
You are the best Jaree mee in this world:p
Got time will share my blue skies and green grass with you..haha..

Tired.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Miss you

我高估了自己。
以为自己可以离开香港without missing anyone。
想不到今天当阿珊打给我的时候我竟然哭。
她跟我说她也在等我的电话。
已经很久没有人这样跟我说过。
每次都是我打长途电话给马来西亚的朋友。
很久没有那种被想念的感觉。
我真的觉得很感动。

Gift from 珊。我会吃完它的:)

Thanks to Sapphire and Ann also:)

Although there is spelling error, I am still touched:)

Thanks to Chee Mei and Jaree for picking me up at the airport.
I didn't expect them to come and fetch me.
I cried when I saw them at the airport.
Thanks for making Singapore a second home for me:)

幸福

突然间觉得我自己很幸福。
在新加坡的时候有jar and chee mei 帮我收拾行李去香港。
走的时候有阿珊帮我寄东西回去。
总觉得去到哪里都有贵人帮忙。
谢谢你们！
我会珍惜一切：）

天下無不散之宴席

我真的很想要不散的宴席。。。

跟朋友聊了一个小时电话还是不可以决定这个星期要做些什么。。。
这里实在是有太多我不舍得的人，太多我不舍得的地方。
很想把我在马来西亚，新加坡和香港的朋友都搬去一个地方，可以常跟我在一起。

骂人

真的想不到原来我也会失去忍耐力，竟然讲出口讲她。。。

今晚真的很吵，比普通她跟他吵架的声音大声。
不知道为什么有些人真的不懂得怎样去体谅别人的感受。
如果不是因为明天的考试，也许我会忍下去。

到我忍不住的时候我也没有讲出声。
我只是静静的走出去common room念我的书。
没想到她竟然还有脸去问我，我为何要出外面念书。
时间刚好，我就是要让她知道她真的很烦。
我竟然回答一句我从来都不会跟别人说的话。
“我不要跟你讲话，因为你很吵”

讲了这一句过后虽然心是觉得舒服一点， 可是却伤了她。
自己也觉得内疚，心想如果被讲的人是我，我肯定觉得很对不起那个人，很希望她不会生气我。
我又犯了错，竟然弄到身边的人受气。
可能我想太多，也许她听了这一句话也不会觉得难受。

希望明天考试顺利：）

开始懂了

她说得对。。。“快乐是选择”:)

Best things in hand

When there is no choices, the sole option that you have in hand is the best.

Good good..nothing more to think about.
I shall work in campus:)

I talked to my Professor for two hours today.
Attended another BC4313.
He talked to me about principles in life and how to cope with my career.
I guess he is the best lecturer that I met so far.
How many people will reply my email at 12am and 630am in the morning.
Even though he couldn't help me in securing a job in HK but I really appreciate it when he really explained to me.
After all the root of the problem is the working permit.

May God bless him and hope that he could win the teaching award.

Choices and decisions

When there are many choices available, it becomes harder for you to make decision.
I had been facing problems making decisions again these few days.
It's something like in my break-up period again.
Emails have been sent...I can do nothing but just waiting for replies.
What can I do besides waiting?
The waiting process is really torturing.

Hope Monday comes faster:(

Friends

How many friends can you have in a lifetime?

It's somehow difficult to stick to a group of people that you know for your whole life.
Some might forget you in the process and some would be forgotten too.
It's often difficult for me to understand someone.
Especially in the event of going for exchange.
A lot of people from different culture came into my life.
What is the best way to interact with them?

I am still learning.

Beijing bejing here i come:)

有人陪的感觉的确是不同。。。

明天要去北京了。。。
not going to blog these few days...

World with no borders

The world is getting smaller and smaller with facebook.
Seems like everyone in my list have at least one mutual friend with me!!!

In other words, actually all of them knew each other..x_x

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small small world!!

突然好想你

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜 那麽美
那麽相信
那麽疯 那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去

突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过
没有你却又突然
听到你的消息

好心有好报

对不起，让你失望。。。

我还是相信好心又好报。。。

所以我会坚持下去。。。

错失机会

Did the same thing again and again...

Some words just cannot come out from my mouth...

Specially for Sarah...

Though I am very far from you now, I know you can do it.
Don't regret the decision that you have made.
You made the correct decision, I have faith in you that you can succeed.

You must try your best until I come back and share the burden with you:)

Unhappy

I don't know why I had bad temper when talking to certain person.

Must control:(

Makes me unhappy...

To trust or not to trust

I went to wong dai sin temple again today with my friends.
I hesitate on whether to qiu qian and ask for explanation.
At the end I did not ask for explanation but I did qiu qian for my friends.

So Chee Mei,Jaree and Ui Cheng, I will let you know your respective qian later:p

My friend went in a stall and that stall helped him in fortune telling.
It was so accurate that I was tempted to try too.

That person actually look at me and said I guess you date with someone before and you got very hurt.
He said my life is like that, have to face some failure first then only will be successful.
He said every time when I fall in love it will be whole heartedly.
And he asked me not to date so soon...cos I will only get married in 34 x_x
Wah...got so shocked...
Don't know whether should believe or not.

I came to notice that knowing something in future will really make you scared.
Won't ask anymore..cos I don't want to know:p

Suprises

When u least except something from someone, you will get surprise.
And yes...thanks:)

Love it very much and therefore I should expect lesser next time.
I know I will be happy:)

不要想

突然觉得心酸。。。

不要想。。。
不要想。。。
不要想。。。
不要想。。。
不要想。。。

Happy

I felt happy today:)

Very very very happy:)

How to appreciate?

She told me that she doesn't love him.

And sometimes when I was together with them, she said so in front of him.

I don't understand why people do not appreciate those people who treat them good.

And why when one party don't love the other in a relationship they still wanna get together.

Every time when they argue in front of me, I am seriously sad.

Cos it makes me think of unhappy things:'(

Thanks Chee Mei

Haha..I actually had a lot of things in mind.
I forgot what I wanted to write as I was unable to go online these few days.

Thanks Chee Mei for going all the way from Khatib to Changi and stay there until 5am to send me off.
Really you gan dong dao.
Haha...don't be guilty cos you cannot buy those things that we want from Korea.
Cos I have already bought a few laneige things here in HK.
The prices are almost the same as in Korea.
So happy...haha

Thanks a lot Chee Mei:)